Uncategorized

How Not To Stay Friends With Your Hair

image

1. Focusing mainly on hair texture.

Since childhood, I thought my hair was “thin and see thru,” once it was pressed ! Before a good pressing, you could pull a truck with my thick hair strands and nothing! I thought that I needed the heaviest products to be effective. I would’ve never used a thin conditioner or lighter oil, like jojoba. Later, I figured out that my low porosity hair didn’t like heavy products; they’d “sit” on my hair, which isn’t effective. Once I listened to my hair and learned about porosity, I could select products and follow a regimen that allowed my hair to thrive, not suffocate.

2. Participating in too many hair challenges at once
When I first stopped getting relaxers, I was in awe of all of the cool challenges I saw other naturals doing. Deep conditioning, hair growth shakes, vitamins, detangling, conditioner wash and gos, and Ayurveda challenges were all over the hair forums, and they all looked so fun and anything good for my hair couldn’t be bad, right? Maybe not bad, but all at once? Excessive. I think I confused my hair with everything I was doing. Simplifying my regimen allowed me to better determine what works and what doesn’t.

3. Saying yes to every product
All products are NOT created equal! Simple as that! What may work on Keisha hair, may not work on Doris’! The same product that gave Linda the bomb twist out, may leave Kim’s a hot mess! Trial and error leads us to a Happy Hair Place. For instance, I look for products with glycerin, because chile I’m tellin you, my hair shows out for glycerin! Loves the stuff! LUVS it! However, I have friends whose hair runs for the hills from it!

4. Not changing my relaxed hair routine
One of the worst things I did after my transition in the summer of 2009, was deciding to treat my natural hair like my relaxed hair. Using the same tools, similar products and techniques only led to breakage and stunted growth. For example, I thought I could comb my tightly coiled hair without moisturizing the way I could comb my bone straight relaxed hair. Moreover, when my hair was tangled and matted I raked the comb through my hair, rather than gently and carefully combing from the ends to the roots of my hair. Such mistakes caused my ends to break, which meant that no matter how much my hair grew I was unable to retain any length. Now, I’m not saying that there will be no similarities between how you care for your natural hair and your relaxed hair. However, there should be some key changes in how you comb and detangle your hair and, if you’re used to washing your hair unsectioned as I was when relaxed, your washing regimen should change as well. Consider how different your straightened hair is from your naturally curly hair. It stands to reason that your weekly hair care routine should be different as well.

6. Fixing what anit broke
After digging my way out of the abyss of heat damage and getting the hang of my hair routine I began to see improvements in my hair’s health. No longer was my hair stuck at one length and I saw regular and consistent length retention. So, what did I decide to do in 2011? I changed what had been working so well. There’s nothing wrong with trying a new shampoo or style but if you know your hair routine works then it is unwise to change the fundamentals of your hair routine. In my case I stopped wearing protective styles during colder month and, while I didn’t experience breakage, my length retention plateaued. If I was only trying to maintain my length then my change in routine wouldn’t necessarily be a problem. However, because I was still actively trying to grow my hair from arm pit length to mid back length changing my proven length retention routine ultimately slowed down my progress.

7. Prioritizing curl defining products over moisturizers leading to severe lack of moisture
If you’ve been following my posts for a while, then you know that my hair is extremely dry. When I had a TWA, I thought that lots of products that claim to produce curls was the best thing for my hair. I would pile on curly, twirly, wavey, coily, creams and gels, but not a drop of moisture. The more a product claimed to enhance curls, the better – is what my mind told me. I did this on top of washing my hair daily. Needless to say that my hair would look fine after it was just washed and product was applied, but looked dry and hard at the end of the day. I learned that I was stripping my hair and depriving it of something it craved – moisture. I changed my regimen when I realized that it wasn’t my hair that was causing me grief, but I was mistreating my hair and it was simply reacting.

8. Comparing hair journeys
This has to be the biggest mistake that I’ve ever made during my natural hair journey. I initially went natural because I was tired of having relaxers burn my scalp and cause sores. However, after I went natural, I started following other’s natural hair journey and compared their journeys to my own. Why wasn’t my hair growing like her hair if we’ve been natural just as long? Why is my texture different from hers? Why can’t my hair do that? These are the questions that I would ask myself often. This was a major mistake. You can’t compare your hair journey to anyone else’s journey. There are too many variables when it comes to hair to try and compare. You may think your hair isn’t growing because it’s not the same length as someone else’s who has been natural just as long, but their hair may just be giving off the illusion that its longer because of their texture. My hair draws up and grows up and out, while someone else’s hair may grow down and hang. Those two very different heads of hair may be close to the same length when straightened. Your hair is your own and it’s unique to you. One I accepted that, my hair loved me for it.

In other words…Listen to your hair! The kinder you are to it! The more it will obey!

Peace! Love and Blessings!How

Uncategorized

Between You & Me

Got a question? Ask me!  I don’t know everything, but there’s an entire audience of readers who are free to chime in! This forum is dedicated to sharing wealth that comes with knowledge! Please share whatever’s on your mind in the comments area of this page! Comments, advice, pics, product reviews!  Whatever!  
I’ll go first.  Did you know Hair Vitamins, biotin or for that matter any vitamin, work best when taken with a glass of warm water within the hour you awake? 



 

Uncategorized

Transitioning Tips:

HAIR I AM

The most challenging time for new naturals is the period when the mind is made up to do it “go natural”, but the heart is fretful! I call it the “Now What Phase!” It’s tough because many, like myself, initially find themselves stuck!

The easiest way in my opinion is to “Big chop”. This is a preferred method for those who still have relaxer in their hair. Not only is it the easier, but a lot more gentler on the hair.

Here a few tips to keep your health during this period:

Keep Your Hair Moisturized

Every product that you put on your hair should be filled with moisture. Start by using moisturizing cleansers, conditioners, deep conditioners and oils to minimize hair breakage and keep both hair textures healthy.

Products

Quite simple. Trial & Error! I’ve been natural some years now & still try new stuff all the time. Our…

View original post 226 more words

Uncategorized

Transitioning Tips:

The most challenging time for new naturals is the period  when the mind is made up to do it “go natural”, but the heart is fretful!  I call it the “Now What Phase!” It’s tough because many, like myself, initially find themselves stuck!

The easiest way in my opinion is to “Big chop”.  This is a preferred method for those who still have relaxer in their hair. Not only is it the easier, but a lot more gentler on the hair.

Here a few tips to keep your health during this period:

Keep Your Hair Moisturized

Every product that you put on your hair should be filled with moisture. Start by using moisturizing cleansers, conditioners, deep conditioners and oils to minimize hair breakage and keep both hair textures healthy.

Products

Quite simple. Trial & Error!  I’ve been natural some years now & still try new stuff all the time. Our hair reacts to different products according to season, growth & texture. In the 7 years I’ve worn my hair natural, the texture of my hair has changed twice 😦

Detangle While Transitioning

Detangling your hair can be the most challenging part of transitioning to natural hair. Before you start to detangle, apply a moisturizing conditioner to wet hair and use a wide-toothed comb to detangle. Start at the ends and gently work your way up to the roots.

Wear Protective Styles Until The Relaxer Grows Out

Wearing a protective style during transitioning will minimize breakage until all your relaxed hair is trimmed off.

The demarcation line is especially fragile, so these protective styles will minimize stress on both your hair textures. I suggest these styles : Wet Sets, Straw Sets, Micro Braids Two  Strand Twists, Kinky TwistsBantu Knots.

The Big Chop

If you’ve tried transitioning to natural hair more than a few times and find it too difficult, why not go for the Big Chop?

My personal choice, “The Big Chop” involves cutting off your chemically treated hair and letting your natural hair grow out. Taking care of your new natural hair can be a great experience, and there are many short hairstyles you can try while you’re waiting for it to grow.
NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR HAIR! Trust the process & your instincts!

Uncategorized

Dreamworks💫

img_81671
All success stories started as a dream and an unrelenting belief in something, fueled by passion!  An idea that some folks, somewhere in the world has been waiting for! This past weekend, I had the pleasure of attending two cool events that started as a visionary dream!
It is evident that Etta & Jennifer Thomas’s entrepreneurial spirit & love for all things natural & beautiful, has sparked Naturally Fly Detroit! Not only have they fulfilled a void that has brought black women together to share, cultivate, teach and inspire one another, but more importantly, the how-to(s) of AU NATUTREL hair!  Their passion has created smoke in the city and ignited a movement in Detroit and the surrounding areas, proving “going natural” is not a trend, but a lifestyle!

img_8185      img_8129  img_8174
Their annual natural hair Meetup this past weekend did not disappoint! The the theme, “Naturally Fly Detroit, Presents We Rock Dope Hair,” was just that, DOPE & FLY hunty!

Sista-friends came from near & far to support & love on each other ❤️!

img_8175  img_8087   img_8093

img_8117  img_8097   img_8186

Vendors took to the open-air market with unique fix my hair products, adorn my body jewelry, hip sartorial & smell good potions to awaken senses!

img_8089    img_8180

 

If you missed out this year, there’s always next year.  Stay abreast on the latest Fly events at: http://www.naturallyflydetroit.com

Love. Support and Build together!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Uncategorized

How Some Black Men Really Feel About Natural Hair

 

10527820_10204064897119568_147167778193111296_n

As I am typing, I can honestly say, I’m an unapologetic naturalista! I mean this to the bone! But I wasn’t in the beginning. When I first decided to “go natural”, I must admit, I was very self-conscious for a couple of reasons.  First, my mom who raised me on hot combs and relaxers, hated it and even nagged me all the way back to the creamy crack house during my first attempt. (lol). No offense momma. RIH!  I will always love you!

Secondly because I couldn’t get a straight opinion from my husband about how he really felt about my hair. He’d say, “If that’s what you like. You gone do what you want to anyway.” I could tell he wasn’t feeling it. He even gulped up enough nerve a few times and insisted I straighten it for special occasions. I did straighten it to please him initially, but with hurt feelings, anger, frustration and resentment plaguing me. Haven’t done that in years and he hasn’t asked.

One night while kicking it with a close male cousin, I asked him what he thought of natural hair. He responded very quickly and negatively, “That ish looks unkept.” He went on to imply that my husband probably would like my hair better straight! Silence covered the room! The conversation ended abruptly when he said, “Men don’t really like it, but they not gone tell ya’ll that!”

That was a defining moment for me. I thought about all the black women still doing magic tricks, wearing weaves, burning their scalps with relaxers, ironing their hair in order to feel attractive to men. Not for themselves but for men!

Time, trial and error of products, styles and routine polished my look. The compliments I received increased while with my husband, has made him come around and he now says he likes it. I’m not sure about that, but I am sure that I love the freedom, look and feel of my hair in its natural state. There are only a few women I’ve spoken to who say they didn’t receive a bit of push back from her husband or boyfriend when deciding to take the plunge.

The once societal and cultural “ visual standard” of beautiful hair on black women is dissipating. But so what if it never did! We have the right to wear our hair in its natural form as anyone else.

I’m not knocking those who wear weaves, wigs, use flatirons, hot combs and relaxers! Do you! I am saying that natural hair is beautiful and healthy! Think about it, if you insisted that your bald man wear a toupee, would he? BUT you would continue to love him anyway because his baldness doesn’t change who he is to you!

Rock on Queens! 👑